Scared to Get Tested for BRCA or Cancer Risk? You’re Not Alone

There’s a particular kind of silence that comes when you know there’s something in the family line. 

You’ve seen it before. You’ve lost people to it. You might even feel like you’ve been waiting for it to catch up with you.

But saying it out loud? Actually asking to be tested? That’s something else altogether.

We lost my mum in 2006. She was only 56. We’d already lost other women in the family. 

Everyone sort of nodded and said, “It’s in the family,” but that was as far as it went.

Testing wasn’t even an option back then. She died in Germany, I was living here in the UK, and without her blood sample, I was told there wasn’t much they could do. So I didn’t push. I was grieving, and it just felt… closed off.

I wasn’t walking around in a state of fear. It was more that I got very good at pushing it to the back of my mind. Life was full—family, work, all the usual reasons to keep going and not think too hard about what might be quietly ticking away in the background.

It just felt like a faff. A massive inconvenience. Appointments, paperwork, waiting lists, possible decisions off the back of it—I didn’t want the hassle. Not when everything else was ticking along.

But then the birthdays kept coming. And I started creeping closer to the age the women in my family were when they died. That shifted something. It stopped being this vague “should I?” and became more of a “Right. Best get this checked.”

I didn’t suddenly feel ready. I just didn’t want to keep ignoring it. What made it harder was the fact the NHS didn’t exactly chase me up. My family history had been sat on my records for years—but no one asked me about it. No reminders. No conversations. If I hadn’t brought it up myself, it probably would’ve stayed buried in the system.

And motivation’s a fickle thing, isn’t it? Some days you think, “OK, let’s do this,” and other days, you just haven’t got the headspace. That’s not weakness. That’s human.

And actually, there’s science behind that.

When we avoid something big—especially when it’s linked to fear or loss—our brains try to protect us. There’s a term for it in CBT: cognitive dissonance. It’s when you’re holding two uncomfortable truths at the same time—like “I think this runs in my family” and “I can’t deal with the idea of having it.” So you delay. Distract. Defer.

There’s also catastrophic thinking—jumping ahead to the worst-case scenario. We tell ourselves we’ll fall apart if it’s bad news. That we won’t cope. That everything will spiral. And there’s experiential avoidance—where we avoid anything that might trigger pain we’ve already been carrying for years.

It all makes sense. You’re not imagining it. You’re not being overdramatic. You’re just being human, protecting yourself from something that feels enormous.

But here’s what I want to say—gently, and without pressure: The not knowing can be heavier than the knowing. And when you’re ready, you do have options.

You can speak to your GP about genetic testing. In some parts of the UK, you can even self-refer directly to a genetic service—especially if you’ve got a strong family history or a relative who’s already tested positive.

And things are shifting.

There’s a new Yorkshire-based research trial called PROTECT-C, backed by Yorkshire Cancer Research and the NHS, that’s exploring how to make genetic testing more accessible—not just for people with clear family history, but for the general population. 

They’re also looking at how people feel about testing, and what kind of support is needed to make it all a bit more manageable.

If you're in the region—or even if you’re just curious—it’s worth having a look: 👉  https://www.yorkshirecancerresearch.org.uk/news/yorkshire-genetic-screening-trial-selected-for-nhs-initiative

The system’s not perfect. I know that. But it is changing. Slowly, yes—but moving in the right direction.

And if you’re sat with that mix of “I probably should” and “I don’t know if I can handle it”, 

I promise you—you’re not alone.

P.S. If this has hit home and you’re not sure where to start, BRCAthrough™ is a gentle place to land. No expectations, no pressure—just space to talk through the fear, the options, and what comes next, when you’re ready.

Visit us here www.brca-through.co.uk